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December 31 Interesting article on Qigong, and ZhaoBao TaijiA gentleman named Chris Marshall has this site specifically for Seattle area martial artists....
I've seen this video before, but his is the most amazing video of Zhaobao Taijiquan I've ever seen....amazing flexibility, chan si jing, and fa jing. The next time students start complaining about low stances, I'll have to point them to this video:
December 30 Resolutions.....I tend to look at New Year's "Resolutions", as more of a set of "retrospective realizations". Why do we say "This year I will lose weight ?....because we gained it 5 months ago, that's why. Why do we say "I will study harder in school?.....because we realize that those C's and D's were a result of poor study, that's why.
There are many resolutions that we make for ourselves.....I know I've done it. However, you know what I've noticed about how I made resolutions in the past?........I was not precise in the resolutions. And I'm sure some of us have done the same thing in the past, when making that list of New Year's resolutions.
We should be precise in resolutions....instead of a generic statement, we should be detailed about exactly what we want from a particular resolution.
In retrospect, some of the things that held me back from my goals included "fear" and "pain". Put those things together and a whole slew of things can pop up and bite you in the butt. This year, as I watched one of my students do pushups across the floor (an exercise where you do a pushup and explode up and forward on the way up), I thought to myself "Wow, it would be great to be able to do that again". I actually said out loud to my business partner "it would be great to do that again". To which she said "What the hell are you talking about? You still can...with some practice. You're just scared of 'em, that's all".
She was right. After my nerve injuries and with chronic plantar fasciitis, I was afraid of doing anything that would risk falling hard or displacing vertabrae, or ripping my plantar fascia. I was afraid of reliving the peripheral neuropathy and the pain of what feels like "velcro ripping away" in my feet. I still did Taiji, but my usual workouts slowed down to nothing.
Not long ago, I got tired of feeling like a sloth, and decided to do something about it .....after being given great advice and coaching, I slowly felt my energy return. I slowly started working out with the Kajukenbo students again, since my back and feet didn't hurt anymore. I actually started to feel a sense of "something not accomplished" if I missed a workout. After the workout withdrawals subsided, my workout schedule evened out, and my cardiovascular fitness improved, my strength shot back up, my energy was higher.
I precisely wanted 3 things.....cardo fitness, more energy, and living the sense of accomplishment. When I entered these precise details into my goal, things became easier and fell into place.
What are your resolutions? What is it exactly that you want as a result of the resolution? What will be your game plan? What will you do to keep motivated to stick with your game plan? I wish much success for all of you who set your New Year's resolutions.
Happy New Year, everyone! December 29 "Is it Sharp??"I'm a Swork, Knife, and Blade collector. I try to teach my students to treat all blades with respect, regardless if the blade is sharp or dull. I teach that the blades themselves are not dangerous,....it is the wielder that makes a blade dangerous. A blade gives the wielder incredible power.....the power to end lives, and the power to save lives. All good swords have a lot of effort and sould invested into them, and no two blades are exactly alike......for this reason, proper care and maintenance of a blade is essential to the life and usefulness of the blade.
However, even with these lessons, the first question I always hear when I do a sword demonstration, is "Is it sharp??"
When I answer "No, its a training blade", I am usually met with a polite, yet dejected "Oh, okay.....".
Is it that if a sword was not sharp, that an audience would lose interest in the demonstration? "Fake" swords don't hold the same level of "risk" as sharp swords do.....would that be why some people are disappointed to hear that my demonstration swords are not sharp? (I would hate to think that some people would actually hope for a sword related accident!).
I'll admit....it got to the point where I grew tired of answering that question. But, the question did allow me to gain another facet of just what makes Martial Arts training what it IS to some people.
Its about "Perception".
A three foot long razor blade can be percieved as dangerous....the risk of a blade owner cutting themselves during a performance adds a touch of excitement to a demonstration. Deft handling of a potentially lethal weapon gives lend to the impression of a swordsman's skill.
Perception....it is what allows us our first impression of something or someone, and sometimes, gives us our lasting impression of something or someone. Perception is one of the factors that determines whether or not our impressions manifest into informed, true opinions. Perception is different for each person......alas....this is why disagreements happen between people. However Perception also provides the medium for intelligent interaction.
What do you percieve? What do you percieve about your training, your progress, your future? Do you percieve your constant repetitions of a kata or Taolu as boring, or do you see it as the "polishing of metal into a mirror"? What is your perception of your efforts?....Are you truly trying, or merely convincing yourself that your comfort zone is your best effort? What is your perception of your Martial Arts Teachers? Do your perceptions of yourself allow you to be taught, or do your perceptions make you think that you are above your teachers? What are your perceptions of your classmates? Your school?
Nowadays, I ask myself the same question "Am I Sharp?" What exactly is my perception of myself and my abilities? Am I consistently honing myself, or am I using myself until I go dull? Am I investing good effort into the "forging" (of my future)?, am I ignoring proper blade maintenance, which could result in blade damage?
Your art and /or your life's work and passion, is your blade.
Are YOU sharp?? December 28 Stillness in movement.....Today, I had the opportunity to take a respite from the remodeling at my studio, and get a massage and some energy work.....
Funny how I can go so long in the "work work-business-teaching" mode without slowing down, not even noticing that parts of my body ache or don't quite work that well! I actually felt guilty about leaving the remodeling work, to take a "chill pill"!
Well, I can't say enough how much I needed this much needed (albeit short) break from the rush.
On a fun note though, I was able to lay the interlocking mats and the Wushu carpets today...Hooray!!....but I think that's the main reason why I think I needed this much needed break....all day, I was on my hands and knees, and hunched over for about 5 hours putting the mats together. My neck started to burn and ache, and my back start to feel that familiar "going to give out" feeling.
Well, my much needed "chill pill" was in the form of a 90 minute massage.....aaahhh...candles, scent (although I didn't quite notice the scent because my nose has been used to smelling chemicals, foam mats, and carpet), and healing music. 90 minutes of pure relaxation and bliss....what a great way to reward onself for hard work.....
The best thing, though, was that the reminder that "taking a break" and "being still" are totally different....for me, at least. For me, "taking a break" means "not doing anything for a specific amount of time". Being still?....what's that??
I was never really all that good at taking breaks anyway....when I used to work in the corporate world, I never spent a full hour for lunch...I'd gulp down lunch and get back to work. I used to spend breaks at my desk and considered breaks as a lull in productivity. When I owned my old Security firm, that made things worse...I was tethered to my pager and cell phone 24-7, getting only about 4 hours sleep a night. I became very ill from the stress and toll on my body,....I collapsed at work, and had to be hospitalized for pneumonia..... I was out of it for more than a month.
Did it teach me a lesson? Not quite. Oh, I surely don't work as hard as I used to when I was in the corporate world, but the mind set is still there. "Go go go". Sherril, my biz partner threatens to kick my butt if I don't take it easy sometimes. She teases me about working while I'm on vacation.
Ironic, isn't it? A Tai Chi instructor, whose outside world is about speeding around. Believe me, I am relaxed, grounded, and "still" when I do Taiji or Zazen. But outside of that, its back to business.....after all of my Taiji or Zazen practice with students, I still have a class to teach. I know I should slow down, and find more time for MY practice, MY stillness.
Stillness, is not necessarily about not doing anything...its about letting your mind just "be". Today, for a time, I experienced no worries about my studio remodeling project, I melted into the massage table and actually felt my own breathing. It was great to feel "Que Sera, Sera".
Many thanks to Reggi of "Alchemy Wisdom", for allowing me to experience "Stillness". I feel re-energized and ready for tomorrow. (uh oh, here we go again!) And many more thanks for the energy work....It feels sort of funny to be able to move my neck in a full range of motion now, but I know I'll get used to it!
For those students or readers that are wondering....I've only been able to move my neck to the left side, only a tad bit more than 45 degrees. It was "stuck", for lack of a better term, for I don't know how long.....a long while, for sure. My Kyudo teacher kept telling me to turn my head more (during the drawing of the bow), and I could not. Reggi released my neck in a short 10 minute session.
Wow, I can't wait to if my Kyudo shooting form gets better from the new ability to move my neck.
Jiayo!!
December 26 Practice, Talent, and Brilliance....A wonderful and interesting article about developing talent, expertise and genius........Thanks for forwarding this to me, Joe!!! --------------------------------------------- -Quote- In spite of a common belief that genius is innate, research shows that even Einstein, Mozart and Tiger Woods had to put in years of toil to achieve brilliance, writes David Dobbs. MY MOTHER, rest her merry, brainy soul, convinced me early on that I was - as she liked to put it, quoting the cartoon character Yogi Bear - "SMARRR-ter than the average bear!" I happily assumed that my Yogi-like intelligence would ensure great things. My sense of entitlement grew when I easily won good marks in school, then grew some more when three different college professors told me I had a talent for writing. Rising to the top, I gathered, was a matter of natural buoyancy. The reality check came in my 20s, when nearly a decade of middling effort failed to cast the glow of my writing genius much beyond my study walls. By my early 30s I saw the obvious: my smarts and "talent" - above average or not - would count for little unless I outworked most of the other writers. Only when I started putting in some extra hours did I get anywhere. About the time I had my epiphany, a growing field of scholarship was more rigorously reaching the same conclusion. It seems the ability we're so fond of calling talent or even genius arises not from innate gifts but from an interplay of fair (but not extraordinary) natural ability, quality instruction and a mountain of work. This new discipline - a mix of psychology and cognitive science - has now produced its first large collection of expert reviews, the massive Cambridge Handbook of Expertise and Expert Performance. The book essentially tells us to forget the notion that "genius", "talent" or any other innate qualities create the greats we call geniuses. Instead, as the American inventor Thomas Edison said, genius is 99 per cent perspiration - or, to be truer to the data, perhaps 1 per cent inspiration, 29 per cent good instruction and encouragement, and 70 per cent perspiration. Examine closely even the most extreme examples - Mozart, Newton, Einstein, Stravinsky - and you find more hard-won mastery than gift. Geniuses are made, not born. EXTRAORDINARY EFFORTS "It's complicated explaining how genius or expertise is created and why it's so rare," says Anders Ericsson, the professor of psychology at Florida State University who edited the handbook. "But it isn't magic, and it isn't born. It happens because some critical things line up so that a person of good intelligence can put in the sustained, focused effort it takes to achieve extraordinary mastery. "These people don't necessarily have an especially high IQ, but they almost always have very supportive environments, and they almost always have important mentors. And the one thing they always have is this incredible investment of effort." This is mixed news, Ericsson says. "It's funny, really. On one hand it's encouraging: it makes me think that even the most ordinary among us should be careful about saying we can't do great things, because people have proven again and again that most people can do something extraordinary if they're willing to put in the exercise. On the other hand, it's a bit overwhelming to look at what these people have to do. They generally invest about five times as much time and effort to become great as an accomplished amateur does to become competent. It's not something everyone's up for." Studies of extraordinary performance run the gamut, employing memory tests, IQ comparisons, brain scans, retrospective interviews of high achievers and longitudinal studies of people who were identified in their youth as highly gifted. None bears out the myth of inherent genius. Take intelligence. No accepted measure of innate or basic intelligence, whether IQ or other metrics, reliably predicts that a person will develop extraordinary ability. In other words, the IQs of the great would not predict their level of accomplishments, nor would their accomplishments predict their IQs. Studies of chess masters and highly successful artists, scientists and musicians usually find their IQs to be above average, typically in the 115 to 130 range, where some 14 per cent of the population reside - impressive enough, but hardly as rarefied as their achievements and abilities. The converse - that high IQ does not ensure greatness - holds as well. This was shown in a study of adult graduates of New York City's Hunter College Elementary School, where an admission criterion was an IQ of at least 130 (achieved by a little over 1 per cent of the general population) and the mean IQ was 157 - "genius" territory by any scaling of IQ scores, and a level reached by perhaps one in 5000 people. Though the Hunter graduates were successful and reasonably content with their lives, they had not reached the heights of accomplishment, either individually or as a group, that their IQs might have suggested. In the words of study leader Rena Subotnik, a research psychologist formerly at the City University of New York and now with the American Psychological Association: "There were no superstars, no Pulitzer Prize or MacArthur Award winners, and only one or two familiar names." The genius these elite students showed in their IQs remained on paper. So what does create genius or extreme talent? Musicians have an old joke about this: How do you get to Carnegie Hall from here? Practise. A sober look at any field shows that the top performers are rarely more gifted than the also-rans, but they almost invariably outwork them. This doesn't mean that some people aren't more athletic or smarter than others. The elite are elite partly because they have some genetic gifts - for learning and hand-eye coordination, for instance - but the very best rise because they take great pains to maximise that gift. Take Stephen Hawking, who likes to dismiss questions about his IQ by saying, "People who boast about their IQ are losers". He was a middling student and achiever until his mid-20s. Only then did he catch fire - and begin working obsessively - while collaborating with fellow physicist Roger Penrose on black-hole theory. Pete Sampras didn't possess more talent than Andre Agassi, but he won 14 grand slams to Agassi's eight because he worked harder and more steadily. And as cellist Yo-Yo Ma once said, the most proficient and renowned musicians are not necessarily those who outshone everyone as youths, but rather those who had "fire in the belly". DECADE OF DEDICATION This has led scholars of elite performance to speak of a 10-year rule: it seems you have to put in at least a decade of focused work to master something and bring greatness within reach. This shows starkly in a 1985 study of 120 elite athletes, performers, artists, biochemists and mathematicians led by University of Chicago psychologist Benjamin Bloom, a giant of the field who died in 1999. Every single person in the study took at least a decade of hard study or practice to achieve international recognition. Olympic swimmers trained for an average of 15 years before making the team; the best concert pianists took 15 years to earn international recognition. Top researchers, sculptors and mathematicians put in similar amounts of time. The same goes even for those few who seem born with supreme talent. Mozart was playing the violin at three years of age and received expert, focused instruction from the start. He was precocious, writing symphonies at seven, but he didn't produce the work that made him a giant until his teens. The same is true for Tiger Woods. He seems magical on the golf course, but he was swinging a golf club before he could walk, got great instruction and practised constantly from boyhood. Even today he outworks all his rivals. His genius has been laboriously constructed. Study so intense requires resources - time and space to work, teachers to mentor - and the subjects of Bloom's study, like most elite performers, almost invariably enjoyed plentiful support in their formative years. Bloom, in fact, came to see great talent as less an individual trait than a creation of environment and encouragement. "We were looking for exceptional kids," he said, "and what we found were exceptional conditions." He was intrigued to find that few of the study's subjects had shown special promise when they first took up the fields they later excelled in, and most harboured no early ambition for stellar achievement. Rather, they were encouraged as children in a general way to explore and learn, then supported in more focused ways as they began to develop an area they particularly liked. Another retrospective study, of leading scientists, similarly found that most came from homes where learning was revered for its own sake. Finally, most retrospective studies, including Bloom's, have found that almost all high achievers were blessed with at least one crucial mentor as they neared maturity. When Subotnik looked at music students at New York's elite Juilliard School and winners of the high-school-level Westinghouse Science Talent Search, he found that the Juilliard students generally realised their potential more fully because they had one-on-one relationships with mentors who prepared them for the challenges they would face after their studies ended. Most of the Westinghouse winners, on the other hand, went on to colleges where they failed to find mentors to nurture their talent and guide them through rough spots. Only half ended up pursuing science, and few of them with distinction. MASTERING MEMORY So what do elite performers attain through all that deliberate practice and sensitive mentoring? What makes a genius? The creme de la creme appear to develop several important cognitive skills. The first, called "chunking", is the ability to group details and concepts into easily remembered patterns. Chess provides the classic illustration. Show a chess master a game in progress for just five seconds and they will memorise the board so well that they can re-create most of it - 20 pieces or more - an hour later. A novice will be able to place just four or five pieces. Yet chess masters don't necessarily have a better memory than novices. Their clustering skills begin and end at the chessboard. Show a master and a novice a random list of 20 digits, and a few minutes later neither will be able to recall more than seven or eight of them in sequence. In a chess game, by contrast, the master sees not the 20 pieces that confront the novice but clusters of pieces, each of which is familiar from experience. Interestingly, the chess master will remember about as many clusters - four or five - as a novice will individual pieces. The better the master, the larger the clusters he'll remember. We all exercise such clustering skills when we read. Learning to read means coming to recognise chunks of letters as words, then chunks of words as phrases and sentences and - at a deeper level - sentences and paragraphs as components of a work's larger meaning. This chunking puts individual words into logical, recallable contexts. As a result, we'll remember almost all of a logical 20-word sentence and only four to seven words from the same 20 words ordered randomly. Apart from chunking, the elite also learn to identify quickly which bits of information in a changing situation to store in working memory. This lets them create a continually updated mental model far more complex than that used by someone less practised, allowing them to see subtler dynamics and deeper relationships. Again, this is something skilled readers do with good novels. However, it appears more striking - more suggestive of "genius" - when we see these skills used by Garry Kasparov to simultaneously beat 30 grandmasters or French footballer Zinedine Zidane to spot a killer through-ball that no one else saw. Such masters seem to operate on another plane, yet the rest of us can take solace in knowing that their mastery rarely extends beyond their discipline. It is a fair bet that Roger Federer would beat you at both tennis and ping-pong, but not as soundly in the latter. The gap will shrink as you move further away from his field of expertise. Michael Jordan, widely considered to be one of the world's greatest athletes, struggled horribly when he moved from basketball to baseball, where he was routinely flummoxed by minor league pitchers. Likewise, if you ever met Kasparov over a poker table, you might well hold your own. While the study of elite performance has been based mainly on observational and interview techniques, its models agree nicely with what neuroscience has discovered about how we learn. Eric Kandel of Columbia University in New York, who won a Nobel prize in 2000 for discovering much of the neural basis of memory and learning, has shown that both the number and strength of the nerve connections associated with a memory or skill increase in proportion to how often and how emphatically the lesson is repeated. So focused study and practice literally build the neural networks of expertise. Genetics may allow one person to build synapses faster than another, but either way the lesson must still be learnt. Genius must be built. Studies of elite performance also chime with another recurrent theme in modern neuroscience and genetics. These disciplines all but insist that the traditional distinction between nature and nurture is obsolete. What we call talent or genius illustrates vividly what the past 25 years have taught us about gene expression - that our genetic potentials are activated and realised only through environment and experience. Natural buoyancy merely gets you off the bottom. You rise to the top by pumping yourself up. So is the ideal of innate genius dead? If not, should we kill it? Certainly a clear-eyed analysis shows that "genius" is really a set of exceptional skills cultivated through disciplined study. We should probably shelve the notion of genius as an innate, almost irrepressible gift and speak instead of expertise, talent or even greatness - terms that hint at the work underlying supreme accomplishment. Granted, this isn't as much fun, and recognising the work factor is sobering. It is disappointing to realise all your mum's blather about how smart you are doesn't mean anything, and that you have to work demonically regardless. But as something to believe in, genius is not looking so smart. You want to play the big stage, you got to put in the time. - New Scientist The Cambridge Handbook of Expertise and Expert Performance, by Anders K Ericsson, Neil Charness, Paul J Feltovich, Robert R Hoffman, Cambridge University Press, $104. - Unquote - December 25 Great advice, Great exerciseBelow is a wonderful entry in a blog belonging to Reggi Shelley, a good friend of mine. I quote this blog entry, because I think that my students and anyone else that reads it will greatly benefit from this exercise. Since she's shown me this exercise a little while back, I've done this exercise a few times, and I'll say that the results were amazing......the results were real. We're talking after almost 3 years of a chronic problem with pain that affected my mind-set, my sense of confidence, and the way I approached my martial training, the pain is gone and my sense of "onward and upward" has returned.......I'm happy to look forward now, instead of regaling in my past glory days.....those days are BACK, now! I can jump again (was not able to with the intense foot pain), I can stand for long periods of time now (my back, achilles tendons and feet would hurt very badly), and with the newfound motivation, I lost 20 pounds over the last 4 months. I can't say enough how this exercise had provided the intervention needed to change up my own pattern as far as my physical hardship was concerned. As Reggi puts it, "We can begin to see the patterns and see how to change them"............its a matter of recognizing that we're running a pattern. I highly recommend this exercise for all martial artists (any anyone else too!).......How does the saying go?..."You must know yourself before knowing the enemy" ?? Ms. Shelley's blog entry is quoted below.....
Quote New Patterns in a New Year December 24 "Which martial art are you??"I was sent this quiz, and I thought it was kind of cute. My results....
You are ninjutsu, you clever fox! You rely on a variety of different principles and techniques to get through the day. You are clever, versatile and often totally unexpected! Ninjutsu covers a great deal of ground, as you know how to handle weapons, avoidance, hand to hand techniques and sometimes espionage. Few know anything about you, and you use that to your advantage as you hide, dodge or trip your way into victory. Ninjutsu is spiritually concerned with endurance, both of the body and the heart.
Espionage"???? Hmmmm....
December 22 "Daiki Taiyu"This is sort of a continuation to my previous blog entry.....
Years ago, I read the book "The sword and the mind", by Hiroaki Sato. In the book, it speaks of the concept of "Daiki Taiyu"....A Zen term that refers to the external manifestation of mental movement.
Often, the term "Taiyu" is used. Literally, "Tai" may mean "body" or "something of substance", or "a thing in itself" (my Japanese is horrible and practically nonexistent, so someone correct me if I'm wrong)......and "Yu" means "application" or "manifestation". In Kyudo, we can use the term in reference to "Tai" being the bow, and the act of drawing, aiming, shooting, and hitting a target as "Yu". In swordsmanship, Tai would be the sword, and Yu being the act of drawing the blade and cutting. (The "Daiyu" portion of the phrase, loosely means "Great mind" or "Great energy")
Today, I found 30 minutes of free time, and pulled the book from my office shelf. I noticed that the page with "Daiki Taiyu" was dog-eared. I tried to remember what was going on in my life or my training at the time that I dog-eared the page, as I usually bookmark pages in many books to help me remember a particular lesson learned from the page. As I wracked my brain trying to remember what I marked this page for, I realized that I needed to see this lesson right now. Didn't matter what I needed the lesson for in the past.....this lesson was one I needed to re-learn NOW.
In my present situation, my Ki and my intent are "Tai", and when the workings of my intent come out, it will be "Yu". Until recently, I've been doing my regular old thing, my usual routine. I had, in a way, fallen into an everyday "slump" of sorts. My mind had not kindled a focused intent. With the recent opportunities that have arisen for me, my intent got back into focus....the excited feeling of experiencing new things, the looking forward to "come what may".....its here again. I've experienced these wonderful feelings many times before, and each time something wonderful came out of it. But not long after each great result, I forgot about it and slowly reverted back to my old daily patterns without ever knowing it.
So there I sat in my office, shaking my head and giggling at myself for reverting back to the "same old routine". I'm excited now, I'm moving forward. I thought back on the recent weeks of my focus on my new opportunities....and realized that many great things are falling right into place. I'm going to try hard to let my goals push me forward.
"Today, I will commit to knowing that if I unlock the door, go outside and do something, it will depend on the decisions and intentions I've made before I unlock the door. I will remember that my mind and my will are of vital importance....if it works well, then great "Yu" will show outside the door."
As long as I can keep good "Taiyu", and keep my motivation fresh and meaningfull, I believe that anything I aim for, will be possible.
JIAYO!! December 19 Brush, ink, and art......"Forget about brush and ink....then you will know the beauty of the landscapes" - Ching Hao
I've had this lecture with students before....but it doesn't hurt to review it again...so here goes....
A phrase that I like to use alot, is "paralyzation by overanalyzation".....We've all done it at least once......where we think too hard about doing something, or so intent on doing something correcty "right now", that we just can't seem to do it right. Come on....you've done that at least once, right??
I sometimes come across students that do that.....they think too much (about a technique), and the technique never comes. Then, frustration sets in and their minds shut off and they refuse to try anymore, even though they know they should continue to practice.
There are only two things that bring skill.......time, and practice. And, there are two things that motivate practice....goals,and passion.
What's your goal? What makes you want that goal? Do you want to do that 720 butterfly twist? Well, why do you want to do that? Take that "want" and make it yours.....drive your passion, for gosh sakes...... Practice hard, know your goal, and just know that in time, your goal will come. Don't concern yourself in every "by the book" rule and the tools that we must have.....don't think so hard...stop talking negatively to yourself......In a way, one has to forget about tools and even their workspace, to realize what their potential is. Don't overanalyze...you'll only fill your head with un-needed stuff, leaving no room for useful stuff.
I've got students that want to be damn good, RIGHT NOW. Some people are okay with being patient with diligent practice and the passage of time to bring the skill, while others want a magic wand to make them good RIGHT NOW. Just from what I've seen, there's no magic wand.....but rather, there's the "magic" that makes us motivate ourselves and kindles that ever-burning desire to perservere. Motivation, in my opinion, is the greatest self discipline of all. When motivation wanes, often the goal fades too.
Here's your brush, here's your ink....
Can you tell that I've dealt with "overanalytical students" as of late???? ;-)
December 18 "Mizu ga nigotte imasu"Translated, "Mizu ga nigotte imasu" means "the water is dirty". (literally, 'water becoming muddy')
Put some water in a jar, add some mud, shake it up, and you've got a jar of yucky water. But you let it sit, and eventually the mud settles to the bottom, revealing the clear water on top.
Does that happen to you?....getting all caught up in stress, negative emotions and such? Do you get "all shook up" and rushing around wondering incessantly "who-what-when-where-why"?. I'm as guilty as the next person of "shaking up my jar", that's for sure. Sometimes when I shake myself up, I inadvertently keep shaking the jar myself. *sigh* Not the best choice.
Meditation has been a way for me to reflect....to (as Bruce Lee once said) "absorb what is useful, and to discard what is useless". Personally, I prefer Zhan-Zhuang (standing meditation) and Zazen (seated Zen)....either method allows me to find my center, still my body, and most importantly, still my mind enough so that it may look at things as they really are, as opposed to perceiving things based on my own stereotypes, doubts, or expectations. Its a wonderful sensation, to feel your "center" again, to just "sit" and have your mind not be so hung up on the hustle and bustle, to allow yourself to "be, see, and go". It is such a release to "discard the useless", leaving room to absorb what is useful.
In Japanese martial arts, there is a concept called "Mizu no kokoro" (mind like water). It said that if we possess Mizu no kokoro, we can be sensitive to all real impressions, not "reflections" of what is. Just as water is sensitive to the slightest wind, or the smallest leaf that alights upon it, such is our own energy that is in harmony with all things.
Ii desu ne! Mizu o kudasai!
How's YOUR water?
December 17 Blind, yet we can see.....A current windstorm had cut the electricity at Yin Yang Arts Center and the surrounding few blocks....it was cold and dark, yet we decided to have the adults kung fu class anyway. The subject that night, was "sensitivity". In the darkness, the students would learn to trust everything BUT their eyes......in KNIFE DEFENSE. We were working blind, being blindfolded and in the dark. I worked with a few students that had a bit of trouble keeping sensitivity to my movements,...after all, how do you trust a skill that you haven't mastered yet, or hardly every use?? I felt the uneasiness of some of students, and I did my best to make them feel at ease. That night...it was my skill that actually gave me a bit of trouble also. Having studied Aikido, I instinctively used Aikido footwork and it didn't quite mesh with the sensitivity in my upper body that Push Hands and Chi Sao have taught me. In short, the technique that Guro taught, would have ended up as a "knife in my gut", if I didn't modify my footwork. While I'm confident that the "average joe" would have not been able to take advantage of a split-second weakness in the range we were in, I realized that my footwork was not quite the same as Guro had taught. And guess what happened...... Yup...I got self-conscious about it. No one except for Guro would have known that I had fell to "habit" instead of "making the choice" of measuring my range effectively. Yet I felt self conscious anyway...as if EVERYONE knew that Sifu's footwork was incorrect. Ego and pride play nasty games with us sometimes, don't they?? Toward the end of class, we played the "circle drill"....people circling you and attacking at random. The person in the center of the circle had to be blindfolded (AND in the dark....what a great combo). I did fine (according to Guro)...but I did feel times where anticipation affected my response to the attacks. When I felt those "slips", part of me went "Damn it! I should be better than this!". THAT WAS MY MISTAKE....evertime that little voice spoke, I'd spend my awareness listening to it rather than "listening, yielding, and flowing". When I stopped listening to all that "damn it" stuff, the defenses came effortlessly...as if I COULD see through my blindfold. Today, I will remember that to be one with each moment, one with each movement, I must stay empty. I will remember the paradox- -that in my emptiness, I will experience the fullness and presence of all things. Thought and ActionThe last few weeks have been both exciting and bittersweet. Master Yijiao Hong has entrusted her students and their Wushu training with me, as she has decided to not offer Wushu at her school for the time being. Although I've been teaching Wushu privately to my own students (that study Kajukenbo), and although I'm a certified full instructor under Master Hong, I've had those thoughts about "responsibility", "honor", and yes....the dreaded "doubt".
I'm not afraid to admit it.....for a day, I was questioning myself. Imagine....even with 25 years of teaching experience, I doubted myself.
Why? Because I chose to acknowledge my fear.......
"Fear of What?" you might ask. Mostly, the fear of not fully representing my Sifu in the way she deserves. Of course, I want to do my very best to provide the same quality instruction that my own Sifu has given......but you know how those "WHAT-IF's" pop up into your head sometimes? Well, that was me for the past week.
My Eskrima instructor, Chris Petrilli, had the perfect answer to "what-if" questions that students would ask during his classes. A normally patient person, he would smile when students would ask "What if this", or "What if that". Then, he would say "WHAT IF BULLFROGS HAD MACHINE GUNS?", And while students would cock their heads wondering what he was talking about, he would add "THEN THE SNAKES WOULD BE PRETTY FREAKIN' SCARED, HUH?". Point being....the bullfrog question made no sense in context to the class at hand....but if you really put your own thought and logic into it, there's always an answer. No need to ask everyone for an answer.....the answer is usually already there. To get a quick answer from a knowledgeable source, doesn't necessarily mean you're going to understand it, or more importantly, distill it within yourself.
So, that's what I did.....I quit asking myself those "what-if" questions. I quit thinking that way. Instead, I made the choice to think and acknowledge what I'm capable of, instead of acknowledging what could go wrong. I've acknowledged my fear, but most importantly, I've engaged it head-on. All my answers were right there.....and the answers boil down to "Do what I do", and "Be great at what I'm great at". Simple. That's it. That's all.
Its a wonder why we sometimes have to go through mental anguish to fully understand things. But you know....isn't that what martial arts is all about, anyway?
A good friend of mine has a blog entry that provoked some thought for me.....click here Thinking Yes, thinking differently does indeed make a difference. |
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