Now that the the 25th is behind us, many of us are getting back to work, or for the lucky few, enjoying a long break until after the new year.

 

I had some friends over at my home on the 25th, for an evening of good food and good company. It was the first large gathering at my house since I moved in, and I was really excited about it. One of the highlights of the party, was the making of Turon, a Filipino "dessert" of sorts, made with saba bananas, jackfruit, and brown sugar, all wrapped up in eggroll wrappers. My friend Lyn brought all the ingredients, and we all helped in making and rolling the tasty treats.

 

It was this sense of helpfulness displayed by all those in attendance, that made me stand back and smile. This is what Filipinos call "Bayanihan"....the sense of "teamwork" or helpfulness toward a common objective. In the Philippines, it is not uncommon for the passengers of a bus or jeepney to help out with a flat tire. If a family needs help harvesting crops, neighboring families will help. It is an unwritten rule, that the concept of "paying it forward" applies....what goes around, comes around. Many other cultures have this sense of "teamwork", in contrast to the individualistic attitude in some other societies.  To stand back while others are working with the team, is a cause for "Hiya", or shame, for many traditional Filipinos. Believe it or not, it is the sense of "Hiya" that affects certain behaviors within Filipino culture.  Many Asian cultures have this sense of "keeping face", and the shame of "losing face".

 

That is not to say that Filipino do not have their own sense of motivation or do not work on their own goals or objectives....Far from it.  As much as we like to feel the sense of accomplishment at doing something on our own, its very reassuring to know that there are people willing to jump in and assist if necessary....asking nothing in return, and not belittling you if you do ask for assistance.

 

As a 2nd generation Filipina, I've been brought up with many old-country traditions and beliefs....."Bayanihan" being the most prevalent. As silly as it may sound, I do feel "Hiya" if my sense of teamwork is questioned....in a way, I tend to take it as a slight to my heritage should anyone question my actions or assume that I have ulterior motives if I help out with anything.

 

I hope that 2008 brings a year of true happiness, many learning experiences, and good fortune! Get out there and discover what Bayanihan is all about!

This holiday season, many youngster's thoughts turn to what they want for the Holiday......a new Wii, "heelies", a TV for their room, or perhaps an iPod......

 

But what do we get for youngsters (or anyone, for that matter) for the holiday, that they actually NEED without getting a "gee thanks" and having it "re-gifted? What do we get for them, that comes from the heart yet is something that they would like? I was at a restaurant the other day, and happened to witness a youngster get an early holiday gift from relatives. The child's expression turned from joyful anticpation to a forced "gee...thanks" look. Was the gift the coolest new video game? no. Instead, from what I could make out, it was a long scarf and a pair of pants or slacks. One of the parents of the child asked "now what do you say?", and the boy walked over to the relative to say "thank you" and give an A-frame hug to the gift giver.

 

I silently chuckled to myself,..."I guess he didn't get the cool 'whatever' that he was hoping for", I thought.

 

Now, I'm not critizing the child for being disappointed at not getting what he was hoping for. Don't get me wrong....I like receiving gifts as much as anyone else. But I guess I've finally grown into that phase that my Mother had always talked about....the phase of appreciating gifts from the heart and not necessarily the mall.

 

What would I appreciate this holiday season? Hmmm...here's my list...

 

1) A smile, hi-5, or hug from my good friends that says: "I care"

2) More shoulders to lean on during the stresses I'm dealing with as of late.

3) Time....just a bit more time each day. Quality time with those I care about....

4) One class before new years day, where every student in that class shows up....

5) Suggestions for more fun and exciting drills and games for kid's classes....

6) Homemade....anything.

 

Yes, I'd love to receive these things as gifts. Besides, if someone gave me a pair of "heelies", I'd break my neck!  :-)  A set of new car tires would be nice, too!  :-)

Do you feel it in the air? Hustle and bustle at the stores, strangers smiling at each other while wishing "happy holidays", the feeling of anticipation by the youngsters?

 

Unfortunately, I haven't see or felt it yet....everything seems stressed, hurried,....all shopping being done at breakneck pace, with type-A attitudes.

 

Just the other day, I was at a big grocery store. It was very busy in there...."crazy busy" to be exact. I'd never seen the store so full of people....it was obvious that everyone was getting things for holiday gatherings. As I was trying to find what I was looking for, I saw a small girl, maybe about 4 years old, rubbing her eyes and sobbing. I asked "what's wrong, honey?" and through her sobs, I managed to get the idea that she lost her parents. I thought about taking her to the front of the store so cashiers could make an announcement, but the checkout line was quite a ways away, and what if the parents were indeed close by? I asked "when were you last with them?" and the girl sobbed "I doooon't knooow! I can't find my Mommmmmy!" and the tears came more intensely.

 

So, I figured that I asked the question incorrectly. I asked another question: "Did you see veggies and fruit around when you last saw your parents? How about biiiig pumpkins? Or a bunch of cool candy in a big barrel?" That managed to get a smile out of her. "Alot of stuff in big round barrels", she said.  "aha, by the bulk foods section" I thought. "Well I'm gonna get some walnuts over there....let's go look for your parents by there".  We got to the prepared foods section, quite a few aisles away from the bulk foods, and the girl yelled "Mommy!" and ran over to her. The mother, grabbed her child's hand, looked at me, and shot me a glare that beat all dirty looks.

 

"Where were you?" the mother hissed through her teeth.

 

"I couldn't find you, but the nice lady helped me find you, and..."

 

"Didn't I say to not talk to strangers?" The mother shot me another glare. "Don't wander off like that, ever!"

 

The mother glared at me yet again. "And I bet you're looking for a 'thank you'?" The sarcasm that dripped from her voice was incredible.

 

"Of course not..." I answered, trying to keep my disbelief at her actions to myself. "I'm only hoping that kids don't get lost in this craziness...it can...."

 

I was interrupted with "Who the hell do you think you are?". She grabbed her child's hand and yanked her down the aisle.

 

I threw up arms in disgust at that point. The only thing that made it better was the "bye...." the little girl gave me as she walked away.

 

Alot of things went through my head in that moment, such as "why are you casually shopping when its obvious your child is not with you?", and "how dare you look at me as if I kidnapped your child...I was just trying to help her ". I was dumbfounded.

 

But I did ponder..."Who the hell DO I think I am?"   Well, I'm a person that can't believe that someone would allow their child to wander freely unsupervised through such a large store. I'm someone whose heart breaks when I see a sobbing child alone and lost. I'm someone that still remembers the 4 year old helpless disoriented panic of not knowing where you are..... I'm someone who believes that helping others is good sense. But mostly, I realized that I'm someone that takes it very personally when someone questions my demeanor.

 

I realize that the mother does not know me....she wouldn't know me from someone who actually has intent to harm a child. But still....why would she then, have her child wander so far away from her in a big warehouse store?? But, from this, I realize that I do get a bit perturbed when someone questions my intentions. Is it because I'm afraid that I might do the same with others? Is it because I feel slighted when others make opinions about me that aren't necessarily true?  I don't know....

 

I hope, that all of you enjoy this holiday season surrounded by joy, love, and trust. I'm looking forward to doing that myself.

 

 

Say to the salesman in the men's store, "Nice pants, but I don't think I can kick in them."

Go to the shoe store to try on shoes and:

• Instead of walking or jogging around the store, you practice pivoting, sweeps, stances and kicks.
• You check to see if the shoe has a sufficiently hard striking surface and whether it protects the toes well
• Buy shoes either because they're particularly flexible or have steel toes.
• Lastly, you don't even care if (and they probably are) the other patrons are looking at you funny. (That's the big clue)

Pass a wall and start to wonder: 'Is that structural or drywall?' THEN you know you've gone overboard.

Hit your head on a low doorway or ceiling and kick it in anger and _damage_ it.

"GAK! NO! The left side of the bathrobe goes on top...."

"What was I doing in my office when I was spinning around and flailing my arms and legs? Ahhhhhmmmmmmm....."

You're practicing your arm blocks while driving down the highway, notice someone in another car staring at you, and suddenly turn your block into vigorously fanning away an imaginary fly.

Use various strikes to turn lights off and on.

Don your clothing with kicks, thrusts, and punches.

Open and close doors with spinning kicks.

Find yourself idly doing iaido and kenjitsu moves with the plastic knives at the fast food place

Can't walk by anybody else from your school without casually exchanging a flurry of mock strikes and kicks.

Haven't gotten over the phase of seeing everybody walking around with a blanket of little red cross-hairs on all their vital spots.

Never miss an episode of "Kung Fu", "Walker, Texas Ranger", or "Highlander".

Deliberately go to see martial arts movies in the theater so you can leap to your feet and shriek with indignation during the movie, out in the parking lot, and with all your friends the next time you're at class.

Find yourself practicing bo staff techniques in miniature with your pencil during dull meetings.

Try to backfist the correct floor button on the inside of the elevator, based on your memory of the button's location, before you get in far enough to see it.

Notice you never stand with your arms crossed or your hands in your pockets.

Tend to keep at least one flavor of martial arts weapon close at hand by your bed when you sleep.

Have at least one fantasy where you are a martial arts hero and end the fight by saying something so cool that you make Arnold Schwarzenegger and Clint Eastwood look like nervous chatterboxes.

Have begun to master the reflex to commit a very messy homicide when, directly after someone finds out you practice martial arts, they immediately ask "Are you a Black Belt ???"

Have the urge to bow every time you enter or leave a room.

Accidentally call your favorite professors 'sensei'.

Find yourself practicing stances while standing in lines.

Don't use any tools while splitting firewood.

Are introduced to someone and you bow to greet them.

See some wood or concrete, even things like stools or tables, and get excited while you picture just how you would go about breaking it. Then you get funny looks as you feel it and give it a look of hard concentration, then maybe measure off a few times.